No one talks about this

My family is into dark humor. It's how we deal with difficult things. So, it's no surprise that I'm using humor to handle the stress and sadness around my mother's decline. I send out texts to more than a dozen people about once a week to let them know how things are going, but I often will send one like this to give them an idea of what daily life is like and also maybe to make them laugh.

Mostly my mom can't (or won't) talk anymore.

Last night I'm pretty sure she broke up with me.

Me: (after tucking her in and praying with her) "I love you." 

Mary: (nothing)

Me: "I love you." (a bit slower which adds to the humiliation to come.)

Mary: "No."

Me: "No what? You don't love me?" 

Mary: "I guess not."

Me: (woof)

Mary: "I never did."

Me: (slinking out of the room) "Okay. Good night."

Mary doesn't mess around. When she breaks it off, she burns the boats and then goes back and sets fire to your city. This was the second worst breakup I've ever had. The first was my high school boyfriend who told me he wanted to date someone (anyone) else.

Finding the humor in these interactions is important. It keeps me from spiraling down into the sadness that is always there. 

(Posted Jul 7th, 2024)